If you stop to consider the Times-Union (but why would you, since you almost certainly don’t read it?), you have to marvel at the continued presence of Ron Littlepage. On an editorial page that has always been stodgily conservative, there is still room for Littlepage to drop steaming piles of opinion based on a liberalism that was tired and wrong 25 years ago. Fortunately, his latest includes his adorable ‘click’ gimmick, which allows me to picture Ron spinning the dials on one of Tesla’s early models. Here we go:
Spinning around the political news dial … click.
Is Mike Hogan a wimp?
I think Ron really wanted to call him a pussy. Hogan’s real problem, by the way, is that he’s a dimwit.
He has backed out of a lot of opportunities to go head to head with his main challengers in the mayoral race.
The most obvious example of his “I can’t screw up if I don’t talk” strategy was his refusal to appear at a televised debate last Thursday.
Four televised debates have been scheduled. Hogan will miss two.
Click.
If you haven’t reveled in this ‘click’ gimmick before, you might think it heralds a change in topic. You know, like changing the station. But apparently his 19th-century radio has just the one station. And it’s all-Ron, all the time.
There was a bit of irony in the mini-brouhaha that swirled around the question of whether an empty podium should represent Hogan’s absence at the debate.
Oh, come on, Ron. You couldn’t have livened things up with some sort of empty podium-empty suit insult? What are you, a pussy?
Susie Wiles, who is managing Rick Mullaney’s campaign, pushed to have the empty podium.
Of course, we all remember
(Rick Scott hate alert)
that when Wiles was managing Rick Scott’s run for governor, that campaign’s strategy was to do as few televised debates as possible and to avoid having Scott answer questions from the media.
I guess Wiles’ idea of how much a candidate should answer questions to give the voters an idea of what the candidate will do if elected depends on who is signing her paycheck.
Christ, that is one awkward sentence. You have to read it twice, even though you didn’t want to read it once. Wiles is a Machiavellian cow, but yes, it does appear that she is tailoring her actions based on who pays her. You should try it -- I think the T-U would like you to be not so numbingly predictable
Click.
One of the forums Hogan didn’t show up for — Mullaney missed it as well — was the Urban League’s forum on race relations last Monday night.
It was held at the LaVilla School of the Arts, and the place was packed. Among the dozens of sponsors were the most influential African-American organizations in town.
Improving race relations is one of the most critical issues facing Jacksonville. Yet, Hogan and Mullaney couldn’t find the time to attend and state their positions.
Where to begin? First, your asserting that race relations is a critical issue doesn’t make it so. Second, Republicans don’t care about the black vote because there’s no way in hell they’ll get any of it. It’s like Democrats spurning an invitation to a Tea Party forum.
I’m guessing if it had been a forum sponsored by the Jacksonville Jaguars, they would have been there.
Ha ha! It’s comedy gold like this non-sequitur that has kept him on the opinion page since the Hoover administration.
Click.
This ‘click’ shit gets old fast, no?
If there was ever a need for a do-over, it’s the At-large Group 1 City Council race.
As a Times-Union news story pointed out last Friday, the three candidates seeking that council seat are, well, less than stellar.
Come on, Ron, don’t be a pussy, tell it like it is. These three are a liar, an idiot and a whore.
David Taylor is an attorney who is in trouble with The Florida Bar and who could be disciplined soon by the Florida Supreme Court.
Steve Burnett had an embarrassing run-in with television news when he dumped several boxes of documents containing sensitive personal information about his employees and customers at a tax preparation business he owned into a Dumpster.
And the third candidate, Kimberly Daniels, admits she abused drugs and worked as a prostitute when she was younger.
You can’t make up this kind of stuff.
Well, I could. But I’m sure it’s beyond the imagination of someone who thinks Jimmy Ray Bob is trenchant humor.
However, it’s not just their problems, it’s their positions on issues that makes this race a loser for Jacksonville, whichever candidate wins.
Click.
Now you’re not even pretending to change topics, dammit. Or telling us what those positions are and why they suck.
Interestingly, it’s probably not her past work in the sex trade — she has reformed now — that will hurt Daniels the most.
Considering how Duval County votes, her biggest obstacle is she’s a Democrat, thought by many to be even lower than the oldest profession.
Click.
Here’s a suggestion on how to be less useless. What if you’d started your column like this: “What’s a bigger albatross for City Council candidate Kimberly Daniels-- that she is now a Democrat or that she used to be a whore?” Who wouldn’t read that column?
Reminder: Early voting begins Monday. Study the candidates and the issues and either vote early or on Election Day, March 22.
Click.
Which is a lamer conclusion to a lame column, a reminder to vote or that feeble ‘click’?
Spinning around the political news dial … click.
Is Mike Hogan a wimp?
I think Ron really wanted to call him a pussy. Hogan’s real problem, by the way, is that he’s a dimwit.
He has backed out of a lot of opportunities to go head to head with his main challengers in the mayoral race.
The most obvious example of his “I can’t screw up if I don’t talk” strategy was his refusal to appear at a televised debate last Thursday.
Four televised debates have been scheduled. Hogan will miss two.
Click.
If you haven’t reveled in this ‘click’ gimmick before, you might think it heralds a change in topic. You know, like changing the station. But apparently his 19th-century radio has just the one station. And it’s all-Ron, all the time.
There was a bit of irony in the mini-brouhaha that swirled around the question of whether an empty podium should represent Hogan’s absence at the debate.
Oh, come on, Ron. You couldn’t have livened things up with some sort of empty podium-empty suit insult? What are you, a pussy?
Susie Wiles, who is managing Rick Mullaney’s campaign, pushed to have the empty podium.
Of course, we all remember
(Rick Scott hate alert)
that when Wiles was managing Rick Scott’s run for governor, that campaign’s strategy was to do as few televised debates as possible and to avoid having Scott answer questions from the media.
I guess Wiles’ idea of how much a candidate should answer questions to give the voters an idea of what the candidate will do if elected depends on who is signing her paycheck.
Christ, that is one awkward sentence. You have to read it twice, even though you didn’t want to read it once. Wiles is a Machiavellian cow, but yes, it does appear that she is tailoring her actions based on who pays her. You should try it -- I think the T-U would like you to be not so numbingly predictable
Click.
One of the forums Hogan didn’t show up for — Mullaney missed it as well — was the Urban League’s forum on race relations last Monday night.
It was held at the LaVilla School of the Arts, and the place was packed. Among the dozens of sponsors were the most influential African-American organizations in town.
Improving race relations is one of the most critical issues facing Jacksonville. Yet, Hogan and Mullaney couldn’t find the time to attend and state their positions.
Where to begin? First, your asserting that race relations is a critical issue doesn’t make it so. Second, Republicans don’t care about the black vote because there’s no way in hell they’ll get any of it. It’s like Democrats spurning an invitation to a Tea Party forum.
I’m guessing if it had been a forum sponsored by the Jacksonville Jaguars, they would have been there.
Ha ha! It’s comedy gold like this non-sequitur that has kept him on the opinion page since the Hoover administration.
Click.
This ‘click’ shit gets old fast, no?
If there was ever a need for a do-over, it’s the At-large Group 1 City Council race.
As a Times-Union news story pointed out last Friday, the three candidates seeking that council seat are, well, less than stellar.
Come on, Ron, don’t be a pussy, tell it like it is. These three are a liar, an idiot and a whore.
David Taylor is an attorney who is in trouble with The Florida Bar and who could be disciplined soon by the Florida Supreme Court.
Steve Burnett had an embarrassing run-in with television news when he dumped several boxes of documents containing sensitive personal information about his employees and customers at a tax preparation business he owned into a Dumpster.
And the third candidate, Kimberly Daniels, admits she abused drugs and worked as a prostitute when she was younger.
You can’t make up this kind of stuff.
Well, I could. But I’m sure it’s beyond the imagination of someone who thinks Jimmy Ray Bob is trenchant humor.
However, it’s not just their problems, it’s their positions on issues that makes this race a loser for Jacksonville, whichever candidate wins.
Click.
Now you’re not even pretending to change topics, dammit. Or telling us what those positions are and why they suck.
Interestingly, it’s probably not her past work in the sex trade — she has reformed now — that will hurt Daniels the most.
Considering how Duval County votes, her biggest obstacle is she’s a Democrat, thought by many to be even lower than the oldest profession.
Click.
Here’s a suggestion on how to be less useless. What if you’d started your column like this: “What’s a bigger albatross for City Council candidate Kimberly Daniels-- that she is now a Democrat or that she used to be a whore?” Who wouldn’t read that column?
Reminder: Early voting begins Monday. Study the candidates and the issues and either vote early or on Election Day, March 22.
Click.
Which is a lamer conclusion to a lame column, a reminder to vote or that feeble ‘click’?
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